Chapter one
I didn’t want to change schools again. Who wants to change schools? The constant act of relocating to a new place every year was the most tiring and draining aspect of my life. I wished so deeply it would stop here, but I knew it wouldn’t. So, here I was again, sitting on my bed with my eyes closed, picturing a different life. One where I finally had the blessing of consistency. A home I could call my own. My daydream about a better life was rudely interrupted by my amazing younger brother, who was incapable of existing without tormenting every aspect of my life that wasn’t already destroyed by constantly moving.
Banging drastically at my door he shouted, “If you don’t drive me to school, I’m gonna use your diary as paper for my joint!”
“I’m coming! Would you stop banging or I’ll stay in here till next semester and you’ll have to get left back!” He got quiet for a moment, and my daydream slowly faded back into my closed eyes. I inhaled deeply and began to take it in but right before I was able to disappear from reality entirely, a loud bang almost shook the entire house. I shot up and, surprise, surprise. The door to my room rested against my floor with both hinges popped off. “Oops.” Justin disappeared around the corner of the hall and loud thumps of his feet could be heard flying down the stairs. How much time would I get in prison for killing my brother? It can’t be that bad; at least prison cells have doors. I made my way downstairs and stepped over my now dysfunctional door. My conniving brother hid behind my mom and obnoxiously chopped down on Cheetos.
“We’re gonna need a new door,” I said as she threw a pair of keys at me and began to gather her belongings.
“Okay, door got it. Can you please measure it for me and remind me before I leave tonight?” She kissed me and reiterated the list of requirements she’d given us every day before leaving the house for the last five years.
“I left $20 in the cupboard if you need anything, my work number is on the fridge, and do not leave town, please.”
“We won’t,” my brother and I said simultaneously as she closed the door behind her.
“First one to the car gets AUX!” Justin said, grabbing the only spiral notebook he carried to school and racing no one but himself to the car. Couldn’t I have just been homeschooled? Or eaten in the womb? He’s always hungry now, he wasn’t then? My thoughts of being devoured before creation vanished with a loud honk that brought me back to reality. I grabbed my brother a pencil and went on my way.
Blossom Brook High. The preppiest it gets. Cheerleaders that opened their legs for more than one reason, professors that forget statutory rape is a law, and students separated into distinctive groups like a teen movie that never gets old. Except in this one, I’m not Regina. I’m not even the girl from Africa.
“201B! 201B Anyone?” As much as I attempted to ignore the girl shouting an inch away from my ear it seemingly became impossible with how loud she got.
“Do you need help?” I said, praying she didn’t.
“Actually, yes, I do!” Great.
“Would you happen to know where 201B is?”
“No, sorry, it's my first year so...” Her eyes widened seconds after the words left my lips. While her mouth hung open, for the first time, I wished more flies existed.
“F-First year? Me too!” She squeals.
“Um- yeah?” She snatches my schedule from my hands and shouts even louder than before. “201B! We have the same homeroom!” She jumps up and down, making her curly red hair bounce. “Now we don’t have to sit alone.”
“Yay us,” I said as we walked to homeroom side by side.
***
It smelt like cleaning agents and dry-erase markers when we arrived. Nothing about the classroom was appealing except for the summer air and sun that shone through the open windows. I sat by the window in the last row to the left and closed my eyes as the hot breeze hit my face. The sun made me zone out whenever I felt it on my skin. That feeling when your mind wanders and your eyes get locked in a certain position. I felt free again, like when I daydreamed about my life or getting eaten in the womb. A cloud passed and broke my gaze, so I searched for my next thing to zone out on.
Most of the students began to scurry in and find their way around the room while others got seated. I took my headphones off and slouched in my chair. The teacher began to write her name on the board, but I can’t remember what it was for the life of me. I just remember her hideous orange belt that didn’t remotely match her purple shoes.
“Griffin.” I snapped out of my gaze on her shoes and looked over at a tall boy standing in the doorway.
“Shannon,” he said.
“That’s Ms. Pepper to you, Griffin. Find your seat.” Griffin unenthusiastically sat in the middle of the classroom. He wore grey sweatpants, and a black shirt paired with white sneakers. Basic and unoriginal if you ask me. Who shows up late on the first day? He slouches back in his seat and puts his silver five-star notebook on the desk. As he twiddles his thumbs in boredom, I notice a small tattoo on the back of his upper left arm of a symbol I couldn’t quite make out. He looked strong and somewhat intimidating, despite his smaller frame. I don’t like him already. I break my gaze again and pick at my old nail polish leaving a trail of pink flakes on my desk.
Ms. Pepper was my economics teacher who clearly had an unhealthy obsession with financial hierarchies and discovering “the key to owning a thriving business.” She wrote in big letters on the board that said Zura Corp, and as she began her discussion, I got comfortable for my afternoon nap.
“The leading, strongest, and most flourishing success on the planet right now. We must ask,” She turns back towards the board and writes, ‘How?”
Zura Corp was a mystery, and discovering how they got their success would be merely impossible without the CEO himself disclosing that information. There had been rumors circulating of their involvement in otherworldly endeavors that even NASA was unaware of.
The girl in front of me raised her hand and anxiously waved it around in the air. “Yes, um- Jennifer?” Ms. Pepper leaned in close and pointed in her direction. “What about Stone Corp?” The rotation of student's heads aiming in her direction echoed throughout the room. She anxiously put her hand down and looked around confused as Ms. Pepper cleared her throat along with the thick air that harbored abnormal tension.
“Stone Corp will not be discussed here.” Students began to whisper as Ms. Pepper slowly lost control of the room. They were both seemingly unstoppable and people feared them for being what felt like “above the law”.
“Enough!” She shouted. “Insufficient information is available to comprehensively address the topic within the confines of a single lesson. No more questions regarding Stone Corp.” Stone was an organization nobody openly spoke about, rumors spread that they planned on utilizing unknown forces for financial gain and possibly even inhabiting another planet, but I don’t believe shit like that because my life isn’t a fucking sci-fi chronicle.
The whispers continued as the weight of my eyelids felt like stones themselves. Who cares? No one can start a business that’ll rival either corporation, so why even bother studying them? I drifted away and before I knew it class was over.
“That was fun!” The curly red-haired girl said as I shot my head up from my dream. “Yeah. Totally.” My mind searched for ways I could get rid of her but for some reason, I was out of ideas. As I wiped the spit off my cheek with my left sleeve, she began.
“I was thinking about throwing a little party for the seniors, would you want to come?” A party? Why would I go to her party, I don’t even know her?
“Wow. A party already huh?”
“Yes, and your toats invited, it’ll be fun, and you could meet everyone you’ve been missing out on!” She snatches my phone and dials her number obnoxiously fast. “Goodie! I’ll see you there.” Goodie? Did we forget the English language? Add that to my list of unconventional, ridiculous traits about this town.
I walked the halls and noticed an empty classroom, so I claimed it before someone else could. Dropping my bag, I ran to sit by an open window and bask in the sunshine like a coldblooded lizard. I grabbed a seat and positioned myself directly under the sun. God, it felt so good. I prompted my legs up on another chair in front of me and closed my eyes to soak in the UV rays. Finally, silence.
“What is this, the first time you’ve seen the sun?” Startled and beyond irritated I shot my head up and locked eyes with Griffin.
“No, but it looks like you could use some.” Pleasantly surprised with my response, he raises his eyebrows, smirks, and tilts his head slightly.
“Ouch.” Was that too much? I mean he was kind of pale, but I wasn’t trying to insult him or anything. Actually, what do I care? He was the one who interrupted my only moment of silence in the day. He gets up and makes his way slowly towards me. What now, he hasn’t done enough already? Grabbing the chair I put my legs on, he lifts it, causing my legs to hit the ground before he takes a seat. There was something that stunned me about his demeanor. His confidence.
“You can’t be serious,” I said in awe at this boy's ability to take control of my personal moment.
“What? You don’t need both.” He slouches in the chair and spreads his legs as if this is his moment to unwind. Does he think the world revolves around him or something? He thinks because he smells kinda good that he can do whatever he wants? He sits there glaring at me and for a moment, the sun's rays engulf his eyes. They’re a mix of dark and light brown, similar to warm milk chocolate with marshmallows. His hair is almost black and unkept but looks oddly intentional.
“Are all people in Blossom Brook as weird as you?” I said.
He smiles to the side slightly, amused with me again. “Just me.” He squints, unable to break his gaze into me. Great, just what I needed. A weirdo who doesn’t know how to brush his hair obsessed with me.
An awkward silence swallows the air for what feels like forever.
“Bad day?” He says, remaining consistent with his gaze.
“More like a bad life.” I break from his intoxicating eyes and slowly begin to pack up my stuff. What is his fascination with me? Is it a new girl kink or something? Who does he think he is, Aaron Samuels?
“What's wrong?” He says, with an unexpected concern in his voice. What’s wrong? What’s not wrong? I haven’t seen my dad for eight years, my mom is barely home, and I’m left with a brother who can’t even heat his own Hot Pockets.
“I don’t like school.” That was good. That should be enough to get him to leave me alone. I stole one last glance at him before I stood up. He didn’t believe me. In fact, he wasn’t remotely convinced. His eyes spoke for him when he left me in the abyss of his momentary silence. I felt compelled to tell him everything. Heck, I would tell anyone at this point. I needed someone. I needed to know it's okay to not be happy. Okay to hate the people you once loved.
I got lost in my thoughts again, except this time I can’t remember for how long. I remember seeing a woman walking her dog through the window. It was a cute, tiny one. With really skinny legs that went on forever. I was abruptly brought back to reality when Griffin's voice echoed in the classroom. “School ends. Life goes on.”
He stands up and slides the chair back towards me. His smirk looked reluctant and awkward like he was stopping his face from forming a full smile. He grabbed his only five-star silver notebook and in the blink of an eye, he was gone. A large cloud passed by, and I knew that my moment of sunbathing had come to an end.
Chapter two
There wasn’t much to look forward to in Blossom Brook. It almost feels like no one really exists here, like everyone is just going about their day robotically, not really living, but just existing. They're always caught up in the gossip of who's sleeping with who and obsessing over unnecessary details like how Jennifer was caught in the back of Nathan’s Range Rover in between almost every class. And then, once in a blue moon, there’ll be these bizarre occurrences like pee mysteriously appearing in the cup on Mr. Carrington's desk that says, Best Principal Ever. Well, even I have to admit that one is kind of weird.
This week, they couldn’t even identify the liquid. Anyway, I decided to buy some new shirts on Outfittersoftheurban.com to put myself in a better mood. But standing in front of my mirror, I now realize that a cute shirt may actually not be the cure for once.
“Are you trying to win an ugly shirt contest?” And there he was leaning on my doorless doorway in all his glory. The sweetest brother one can ask for. Kind, considerate, loving, compassionate, shall I continue?
“No, but it looks like you won the ugly face contest.”
“We practically have the same face,” he said, inching into my room and peering around at my stuff. “If you’re looking for another sexy shirt, unfortunately, I didn’t buy you one,” I said sarcastically, walking towards my dresser and dragging out a large piece of cardboard from behind it to replace the death of my door.
“Good, I’d look better in it anyway,” he said, mockingly sashaying around my room.
“Wow, tell me how that’s possible outside in the hallway.” I pulled the skimpy piece of cardboard halfway through my doorway, leaving just enough room for him to squeeze himself and his microscopic brain through. As he walked out, he reminded me just how good I got it.
“You think a piece of cardboard will stop me from getting in?”
“No, but it might stop me from catching whatever disease caused you to come out like this.” I “slammed” the cardboard shut, and the air pathetically slowed it down. I guess the impact was too strong because it automatically split in half and folded in on itself. Revealing my brother's diabolical face on the other end with a smile that went past his ears. “Wow, you really did a number on it, huh?” He must’ve seen the smoke come out of my ears because he ended up disappearing shortly after the cardboard committed suicide. Great, and just like my door, I was ready to crumble at the seams.
I plummeted onto my bed and picked up my phone. 7 p.m. on a Saturday. In a town I didn’t know, surrounded by people I didn’t care about and a family that only half existed. It was right about time to take my fifth nap of the day when I received an unexpected phone call with a caller ID labeled, “Pretty Lil Red.”
Oh God. I pressed accept and prepared for the worst.
“SHH, lower the music, everyone shut up.” Before I could press end call, “Pretty Lil Red” shouted in iPhone frequencies that Steve Jobs would’ve been impressed with. “You comin’ bitch!?”
What the hell was that? Coming where?
“I’m sorry, who is this?”
“It's Red girl! Your bestie from homeroom.” No way. How did she even get my number, and why would she think I’d attend her party?
The song “Yeah” by Usher played so loud that my phone sounded like it was underwater. “Oh, Red… I’m sorry, I think… I think we’re breaking up.” I buried my phone in the sheets and robotically stuttered to the best of my ability.
“What’s that? You said you’re on the way up! Goodie, I’ll have someone send you the addy.” I ended the call right before another party flop came on and sat up in my bed. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and saw an ugly alien peek into my doorway. “What do you want now, Justin?”
“My ten-minute alarm to annoy you again went off.” So, what should I wear to this party?
Chapter Three
How did I get here? Me and my new shirt from Urbanoftheoutfitters.com stood before a house entirely too large for its own good. It took up practically the whole block, swallowing the presence of a tiny house next to it. Maybe this was a bad idea. I began to turn back around when the stench of liquor stopped me and engulfed my lungs.
“Bestie!” Fuck. “Red, oh my gosh, wow, you look… great.” In fact, she looked far from it. She wore a tiny purple dress that opened up at the bottom with ruffles surrounding its rim. She looked like a strange upside-down umbrella.
“Aw, thanks, girl! Follow me, I’ll make you a drink.” She grabbed my arm and almost swung me off my feet all the way into the kitchen. God damn she’s strong as hell.
The party was packed. I’ve never seen anything like it, and I’ve been to at least ten high schools. Red solo cups were gripped tightly in palms, groups danced like there was no tomorrow, and I could’ve sworn I even saw Mr. Carrington playing beer pong.
“Try this!” Red shoves a cocktail in my face that reeks of pure rubbing alcohol and hand sanitizer; the drink is sinister. This might be the best thing she’s ever done for me. Taking the cup from her hand, I began to drink and finished it entirely as she watched in awe. Her mouth hung open again, and her eyes widened.
“I think I’m in love with you.” I laughed at her reaction and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I don’t know if I’m drunk already or something, but she’s kind of funny.
“She laughs!” Red shouted, jumping up and down, squealing, causing her upside-down umbrella to open and close. “I’m gonna let in a couple more people, but make yourself at home, girly!” She disappeared around the corner, and in just a few seconds, I was about to find out why Red was shocked by how much I drank.
I left the kitchen and stood before a monstrous group of people in the living room. While they played music that involuntarily caused my head to bop, I took a deep breath and made my way into the crowd. A conversation between a group of boys who clearly spent too much time reading fake news caught my attention as I passed.
“Bro Zura Corp would annihilate Stone, they don’t stand a chance with the power of Zurickon on their side, are you crazy, man?” Zurickon? Really? Now we’re believing in fabricated planets to feed our obsession with the wealthy.
Taking another sip of my drink to save my sanity, I made my way past their heated argument. Here I am in the middle of couples kissing, drinks spilling, and people pushing like they’re getting paid to party. I felt someone grab my arm, and before I knew it, people were tugging at me left and right, convincing me to dance. Phone flashes turned on and blinded me like a celebrity who’s been in hiding. Shit. I looked around at the group of people that suddenly swallowed me whole and found no escape. They cheered loudly as I began to fully feel the effects of whatever the fuck was in my cup.
“I don’t… I can’t.”
“Come on, dance!” I heard someone shout from the crowd; I felt like a circus animal. Unfortunately, I was left with no choice; I had to do something. You know how you dance in your room when no one’s watching? That kinda sexy but kinda fun and flirtatious number you have saved for someone who really appreciates raw talent. That’s what I did, or at least that’s what I thought I did. God knows what occurred in that circle, all I know is that they loved it.
“Holy shit who the fuck is that?” The crowd freaked out and more camera flashes fluttered my vision. I kept going and for a moment, I felt free again. Not the free I feel when I’m daydreaming about another life or my brother disappearing, but a new kind of free. A free that came from reality, not dreams.
I moved my hips to the thumps of the bass and flipped my long, wavy hair over my head. Grabbing a guy from the crowd, I used him as leverage for my next moves. He followed my rhythm to the best of his ability, and we danced together for a moment before other people hopped in the circle to join us. The crowd hit the same move and jumped up and down with their hands in the air.
Red appeared in the doorway and shockingly watched as half the party danced around me.
“What the f-?”
“Red!” I shouted, gesturing for her to join us. She squeezes her puffy purple dress through the crowd and jumps with us, elevating the energy even more than it was. We held hands and waved our hair around for what felt like forever. As I danced, the world around me began to feel like slow motion. Deep through drunk bodies and the thick aroma of smoke, I could see eyes that even in the darkest of rooms lit the way before them. With his head slightly tilted and a loose curl covering his left eye, he examined me as Red and I owned the dance floor. Why was he watching me? Something about his glare made my dance moves become elevated, more sensual. With every chance, I stole a glance. There he was, one leg propped against the wall with a body that looked lost and eyes that looked like they found what they’ve been looking for. His expression was oddly serious, as if he didn’t like the attention I was receiving. Or maybe I was crazy, maybe he really didn’t care that much. I mean, why would he, right? He doesn’t even know me.
Lights moved gradually around the room. Spontaneously igniting his irritated appearance.
“Hey, dance any harder, you might set this place on fire.” Said a boy too tall and muscular for his own good.
“Guess we’ll need a fire extinguisher, Kyle!” Yells Red, her voice filled with fruity alcohol. I smiled slightly and gave him no reply.
“Where’d you learn to dance like that?”
“My room…” I said, taking a sip of Red’s drink as she began to dance erotically with his friend, leaving me alone.
“Need a partner?” He shouts into my ear, leaning down and placing his hand on my lower back. I back up gently, “No, but I can use another drink.” I say in an attempt to step away. Kyle grabs my arm and jerks me back towards him, pushing me up against his body. “I-I’m sorry. I’m not…” I lose balance at the control of his strength and fall directly into him. He held my body up entirely, saying things to me that at this point, I couldn’t hear. I mumbled to myself, to no avail. He holds me, pushing through the crowd and making his way upstairs with my body. I look over the rail of the winding steps in search of Red, who’s now entirely consumed by his friend.
“I don’t want –” Grabbing the rail gently, my fingers slip and slide. “It’s okay.” He nudges the cup into my mouth, causing me to cough and unintentionally consume his beverage. The music felt like it was getting louder the closer we got to the top of the stairs. Stumbling into a room, I fell on what felt like a cushioned surface. In front of me was a window that gaped open, showing a foggy, full moon. The breeze hit my face, easing my nausea and hot body. I felt his touch, but didn’t break my gaze at the window. I wondered if the moon would save me if it could. If it cared. Just then, I felt a pull.
I heard Kyle begin to shout. With all my strength, I turn towards him. Through my blurry vision, I could see him arguing with another guy, but I couldn’t hear or see him. My head falls, and my eyes close as I attempt to make out what I’m hearing. Just as I begin to slip out of consciousness, I feel a droplet on me and wonder if it’s begun to rain. I swipe my face with my hand and see a deep red stain on my fingers. I jolt up and focus on the boy who took me up here. He was on the floor, bleeding profusely, and completely lifeless. That’s all it took to make me throw up; not only did I throw up, but fortunately, it was right on him. What’s going on? Am I dreaming? My head plops down, and I turn back towards the moonlight. The breeze almost brings me back to life.
The sound of the whistling wind and leaves against leaves allows me to drown out the toxicity of what’s in me and around me. I close my eyes as I feel two arms scoop me up. My mouth waters as I begin to taste something slightly refreshing, similar to a medicine that you’d pretend not to like as a kid. My breathing becomes so intense that I can no longer control my chest. I feel myself get placed down and no longer hear the sounds of music and laughter. Someone’s warm breath sits up against my face, but I don’t have the strength to open my eyes. I could feel them examining me, like a predator stalking its prey from an unreasonable distance. Watching. Waiting to consume every last inch of me. Without being touched, I could feel all things. It’s over me, breathing me in like it’s taking its last breath. Something about it was scary, but oddly comforting. Like I was being watched over by a guardian that had no business saving me.
I woke up on the couch and found myself in one piece, with no clear memory of the last hour. I looked around and struggled to focus on someone all too familiar. As I tried to recall recent events, he spoke. “Didn’t know you were a dancer.” I oddly felt kinda good. Euphoric. The walls of the room spun ninety miles per hour and gave me that tickly feeling in my stomach. Honestly, with the way I was feeling, a conversation with Griffin wasn’t looking too bad, and neither was he…
My head bobbed slightly in circles to match the speed of my surroundings as I examined Griffin. He took a seat on the couch to the left of me and put his non-alcoholic beverage down. “Neither did I.” Our laughs synchronized as he sat up in his seat and finally gave me his real smile, the smile he’d been keeping from me. Even more intoxicating than his gaze, it was utterly breathtaking. Contagious and exuberant, almost as infectious as whatever illness my brother has. The warm tones from the fairy lights that drowned the room lit up his eyes like streets after rain, reflecting every sparkle.
“You know, for someone so miserable all the time, you sure look happy tonight.” He said scornfully, sipping his drink as if it were something to savor.
“I-I’m not miserable. I’m just… trying to survive.” I took deep breaths in between each word to remain as grounded as possible.
“You’re not the only one who’s trying to survive, okay?” His smile dropped as he leaned back into the couch, letting the cushions swallow him. “Going through shit doesn’t give you an excuse to be rude. I’m failing calculus, my mom left me when I was a kid, and my dog died three months ago. So there, if you think you’re the only one with problems, you need to open your eyes and understand that everybody is hurting.” He depressingly stares into his cup and continues. “Letting your anger out on people is not a way out. Trust me, I would know.”
Taking a sip, he says, “And you should be happy. Not all people are as lucky as you.”
“What?” I said, almost sobering up after I made sense of his statement. “My dog died three months ago. You know, one of those small ones with the really skinny legs.” With a slight grin, he turns towards the moonlight emanating from the three large windows beside him. And suddenly, just like that, as he took another sip of his drink, Griffin felt real. Not like a robot who only cares about what new substance is in the principal’s cup this week, but a person, a person who exists in a world that inhabits real raw emotion.
“Yeah, I know the one,” I said, “they go on forever.” We sat on the couches for a moment, empty cups in hand, music simmering down, and crowds dying out. For the first time in a long time, it was okay to not be okay, and Griffin was living proof of it. As I looked down at the cup in my hand that now oddly contained water, an eerie feeling came over me. Then, I peered over at Griffin as he sipped the last of his drink with blood-stained knuckles.
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